Right now, all I can do is hold fast to the promises of God. Today, I'm clinging to Romans 15:13. It feels like the one thing keeping me from drowning in a sea of despair. I have to believe God wouldn't have said it if he didn't mean it.

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.". Romans 15:13

Bring it on, God. We're ready.

Why am I blogging?  It's something I could never see myself doing.  Which makes it another example of "never say 'never'".  To start, I'll try to explain why I started a blog and see where it goes from there.  It may die young.  Who knows.

It's been six weeks and I still wake up at night, wondering if I heard a noise or if I'm imagining things. Each morning it's a relief when my boy gets up. It means he didn't go out the window again. I stll don't believe it happened. But then, that was before I'd ever heard of RAD. A lot has happened since then. A lot I haven't felt like talking about but I need to. I need to let family know and a blog seems like a good way to do it. Talking about it wears me out, leaves me exhausted, and I can't repeat it to each of my sisters, my sister in law, close friends . . . you get the drift.  All my energy is spent dealing with this.  There's nothing left for talking.

I'm also hoping by writing this down, it will help sort things out in my head and maybe some of it will make more sense.  Because right now, none it it makes sense.  And that's all I have the time for now.  We'll see if this goes anywhere or not.